Top 10 Crappy Things They Don’t Tell You About IVF

So you are about to start IVF….. CONGRATULATIONS! IVF uses the most up-to-date technology to get you pregnant in a jiffy. But there are a few things you might want to know before you start.

In no particular order:

  1. Are you tired of sleeping through the night? Do you wish you could wake up every night with soaking pajamas? Is your partner bored of being married to a rational individual? Do you want headaches tinged with tinnitus, or hot flushes that make your face red and blotchy? Well, thanks to your downreg drugs, you can! Just a once daily injection can bring on early menopause and make you feel 55 — years ahead of schedule! Side effects may occur. 
  2. Hysterosalpingo (HSG) -contrast sonography. An ultrasound scan where they inject dye into your fallopian tubes to check they are not blocked. Eye wateringly painful, and totally unexpected. There’s a reason they advise you to take ibuprofen before you this procedure. DO IT.
  3. Also unexpectedly painful – the egg transfer. Not the transfer itself, which is done with a syringe with a thin tube attached to the end. But the jacking open of your lady bits with one of these sadistic tools? THAT is painful. It looks like something invented by a man, no?
    Sterile Plastic Disposable Vaginal Speculum - Medium x1
    Now to be fair, some women don’t experience any discomfort during this procedure, or they compare it to a smear test. But I am here to testify – and give fair warning! – that this may hurt a bit. Lou sobbed throughout the entire procedure, which took a full 5 minutes. I don’t know whether it was the speculum positioned badly, or if it was cranked open wider than normal. Either way, it required chocolate and a nap afterwards.
  4. If you are needlephobic – IVF will either cure you…. or break you. Counting the downregs, stims, trigger shots, blood samples, and even the anesthetic for egg retrieval, I estimate you get stabbed about 70 times per cycle (on the long protocol). To add insult to injury, most of the those you have to stab yourself. We filled 2 sharps bins with needles and syringes, and almost ran out of belly space to inject onto. Also, never in your life will you feel more like a drug addict. I hope.
  5. By the end of stims, each follicle is 2cm in diameter. About the size of a green grape. Assuming the average woman has 8-10 follicles on each ovary, that equates to two  bunches of grapes hanging out in your ovaries. God help you if you have poly-cystic ovaries, and will grow as many as 30 on each ovary. You may have heard it is painful, and it can be, but the worst part is how you can actually FEEL your ovaries, heavy and stretched to the max. Don’t even THINK about wearing heels, exercising (especially crunches – OW!), or doing anything that requires you to be on your feet for more than about an hour. A hot water bottle is worth its weight in gold, plus it encourages growth. And as strange as it seems, all you will want is for them to get BIGGER! Which leads me onto the next point…
  6. Waiting and obsessing. Once you get on the IVF rollercoaster, it starts to feel more like one of those kiddie trains they have at the zoo that goes about 2 miles an hour and stops at every station. Time magically slows down, and your entire perspective on life flies out the window. You used to be a laid back, casual person who didn’t care for plans or looking into the future, but now you have developed a desperate preoccupation with your next appointment, next injection, next prescription, pregnancy test, next scan, next _______ (fill in the blank). Whatever the next thing there is to do with the IVF, that’s the next defining moment in your life. I can hardly remember most of these crucial moments, but I certainly remember that my work (which I loved) became at best a distraction, and at worst irrelevant. Exercise can provide a good focus, and so can meditation, holidays, and socialising with friends. Try to keep yourself busy, and remember:
  7. If you’re journey into fertility treatment takes you straight to IVF (as opposed to via IUI, boosted ovulation, or other) as ours did, you may at first feel overwhelmed by the lingo. From your first visit, the doctors and nurses sound like they are speaking another language. And don’t think that internet will help! Blogs and fertility message boards are even worse with the lingo, and you will just come away all like:

    It is ANNOYING. But then again, you feel you should be an informed IVF consumer, or an “expert patient,” and of course, if you love to Google like me, you won’t understand half of what is written on t’internet about IVF without knowing some of it. So you resign to learn this ridiculous language. There are two main types of acronyms: the medical acronyms, such as ICSI (intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection), AMH (anti-mullerian hormone), ET (egg transfer – not the alien), and the message board acronyms, such as BFP/BFN (big fat positive/negative), POAS (pee on a stick), TTC (trying to concieve) and 2WW (two week wait).  I wish I could signpost you to the ultimate lingo guide, but I never found one. Eventually you just work it out, and then the truly most annoying thing happens: You begin to use it yourself. SMH.
  8. So now you’re pregnant? Most excellent news! But you’re still on the IVF rollercoaster for now… because guess what? Remember how you took those downregs to shut down your cycle and bring you early menopause (see #1), and then you took stims, the hormones that made you produce lots of eggs (see #5)? And then you had the eggs removed from your ovaries then put back all fertilised (see #3)? In doing this, the doctors created an artificial cycle and played all sorts of trickery on your body. At the end of your IVF cycle, your body’s is going along, happily making eggs, then abruptly the hormones stop and suddenly all the eggs go missing, and just as suddenly, they come back and one or two happen to be replicating at an alarming rate. Your body is not quite sure what’s happening, while it’s flapping about trying to figure out what hormones to produce and how much,  your fragile little embryo needing to be nurtured by your uterus, and your uterus need progesterone to do this. So you take progesterone supplements,  until week 15 of pregnancy, when your body has created the placenta. The progesterone Lou took were pessaries, like these, that dissolve inside your body.

    Two of these bad boys are inserted into the front or back passage (your choice, we recommend front!), twice a day. For 13 weeks. That’s 364 reaches into the nether region. And unless you want leakage, you need remain prone for 20-30 minutes after insertion. It’s OK at night, but in the morning it means waking up early to put in your pessaries. It isn’t painful or irritating, but it is tedious. And it does give you some early pregnancy symptoms, such as painful breasts and bloating, which during the 2WW can be a total mindfuck. I recommend keeping wet wipes beside the bed, and carrying some panty liners in your bag.
  9. Around week 7, you will go for an ultrasound scan. And if you have a little scare, you will get a couple extra scans. All scans before 12 weeks are done transvaginally (dildo cam) as baby is still very small. The dildo cam is used throughout IVF, and after the first time it’s really no big deal. Number 9 on my actually list relates to what can show up in the scans. Flatulence. Basically the ultrasound can see if you need to toot. This can be fairly embarrassing if, when the ultrasound tech is prodding you with the dildo cam, she tells you she is struggling to find the baby because there is too much gas in the intestines, and asks what in the world you ate last night! This happened to us three times. So let this be a word of warning: avoid beans, lentils, broccoli, cauliflower, or Quorn before a scan. Vegetarians beware.
  10. So you make it to 12 weeks, discharged from the IVF clinic and into the general antenatal clinic. Everything is going perfectly well, so it is surprising to be told that due to the IVF the pregnancy is “high-risk.” I do think this depends on local hospital policy. But at our hospital, we were told that despite Lou being young and healthy, and the baby growing beautifully, we need to be monitored more closely, and care would be doctor-led rather than midwife-led. We might get an extra scan (yay!) but, due to an increased risk of stillbirth, they will induce labour between 39-40 weeks if it does not happen spontaneously (boo!). Therefore, we are very unlikely to give birth in the birth centre or use a birthing pool as we had hoped. It seems a little unfair that after so much medical intervention to get where we are now, that we may have yet MORE medical intervention 9 months down the line. I thought we were a “normal” pregnancy now. But instead we are facing a pretty high chance of artificial induction and possibly C-section. We are hoping the obstetrician will use his judgement as the pregnancy progresses, to assess our individual risk. And so the IVF journey continues…

I know fertility treatment can be a very difficult thing, but it’s healthy to keep perspective and see the funny side of things, so read this post with all the humour and light-heartedness that I intended, and I hope you learned (or can relate to) something on the way.

And it goes without saying, that we would do it ALL again in a heartbeat – and we probably will!

About mamadeux

Just another lesbian trying to get pregnant!
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75 Responses to Top 10 Crappy Things They Don’t Tell You About IVF

  1. liah says:

    Thank you for this post. I have a egg collection at 8am it is now 3am I could not sleep because of the nervous and your post made me laugh ( very needed).
    Congratulations on the BFP lol hope all goes well 🙂

    • mamadeux says:

      I’m glad it made you laugh! Good luck tomorrow! Fingers and toes crossed that you get your BFP and you’re up in 9 months at 3am to feed your baby (like me!)

  2. Emma says:

    Thank you for posting this! It made me laugh! 😀 I am busy going through my 2nd cycle of IVF and I’m at the wonderful 2ww stage! Waking up through the middle of the night due to my inability to sleep and ‘googling’ my ‘symptoms’ is so much fun! Lol.

    It is always great to hear stories of success, many congrats to you 🙂

  3. Baby to be's auntie says:

    I am a friend of two amazing women that are on this IVF journey… we have had an interpersonal conflict and I started thinking about what they were going through… this has really helped me hold them close in my heart and know that my love and adoration for them will let me drop the stuff that seems so small right now! Thank you! I am going to be the supportive auntie of baby to be now!

    • mamadeux says:

      Thank you for taking the time to learn about IVF and how challenging it can be. I am sure your friends will appreciate it, and you will be a great and mindful auntie 🙂

  4. sum1sweeta says:

    Hi. I just came this post and thought its very honest and informative.. im the start on the process on down regs.. and have this all to look forward to lol.. im glad you were sucessful x

  5. Gemma says:

    I start ivf in March. Reading this made me smile, I’m sure I’ll be reading it again. 🙂 xxxxx

  6. Camryn says:

    I think a mature follicle is around 16 mm, not 2 cm. Loved this entry! Soooo good, so funny. Thank you! 🙂

  7. Meg says:

    I’m going through my first IVF cycle and this is all so true and so funny! Very we’ll done. Thank you very much for this! All the best to you, Lou and the baby!

  8. Tam says:

    Your awesome. This is the best laugh I have in a month. I am also in my 2ww – going crazy. This was a great compliment to my 5 min contraband bath. Gotta go before anybody catches me. Journey on…

  9. Emma says:

    This is a brilliant post! I am still getting to grips with the lingo and felt very bad when I thought AMH was actually something to do with mallaria! This post is the only thing that has made me laugh on a long and sometimes angry journey. Thankyou xx

  10. cath149 says:

    My friend is in her 2ww after cycle 3 – I have everything crossed for her and more. I was so lucky to get my amazing son after our second cycle. This is a fantastic article – congratulations on your bundle x

  11. chris h says:

    Sharp and witty truth to IVF journey…on my 2nd cycle in middle of the night awaked by tinnitus exacerbated by blood thinners they have me on. Thanks for the relief that I am not alone in these feelings.

  12. Sonia says:

    Holy cr*p. I found your blog by googling “ivf hormones causing fits of giggles” as I’ve just started experiencing this rather odd side effect. THANK YOU for such a wonderfully funny post. I tried to read some of it out to my partner but was laughing so hard I couldn’t get the words out (“364 reaches round the nether regions” was particularly tough).

  13. Abiola yusuf says:

    Pls am an ulcer patient and preparing for ivf hope is not going to affect it.

  14. Reblogged this on faithinfertile and commented:
    Reblog: 10 crappy things they’d don’t tell you about IVF

  15. Lianne rea says:

    this was a funny spin on some of the Ivf issues. I would say however don’t complain that your not getting the birth you wanted. at least your getting a baby in your arms at the end of it all. 🙂

  16. Molly says:

    Thanks for making me laugh though this IVF situation. I needed that. ;/) I related to a lot of your post!

  17. Pingback: IVF #1: Oh, The Drama | the sky and back

  18. Karla says:

    I hope my husband finds it as funny as I do. During this stressful time, I think laughter is essential. Thank you!!!!!!!!

  19. Mrs.B says:

    Thanks for this post…I’m on TWW of first ever IVF cycle…totally freaked out because 6 days past the ET, my boobs aren’t as sore as they were before. Been googling like crazy to read some similar stories and I found this article…really made me laugh….

    I’m hoping that the baby sticks to me like glue and only leaves me when it’s 9 months plus…

  20. Pingback: Infertility Blog 2013 | Secret Pregnancy Blog

  21. houseofholl says:

    I googled “IVF red” face and your blog came up. I literally cackled at dildo cam (I’m giggling as I write this). And WhY do they put a condom on it before? So insulting. Anyhow, your blog made me very happy. Informative and so funny. IN the middle of all this crap you really need a good laugh at how ridiculous it all is.

  22. Great post. I’m on the ‘stims’ injections at the moment and enjoying exhaustion, headaches, the worst migraine of my life, low mood, and feeling tearful. Looking back I see from your post why I got tinitus with the night sweats in the first stage of injections.
    I appreciate your honesty re. the pain of the hysteropingogram or whatever it’s called. I was in agony and they had to get the senior in to do it. I know the egg collection will be painful and I don’t believe the clinic when they say it will not be. Not meaning to scaremonger as I know most don’t find it painful, but it’s good to know I’m not alone in being one who has found all procedures down there horrendous, apart from the scans (which have the amazing camera that allows you to see your eggs on a screen).
    All this aside, I’m keeping it in perspective, and the more knowledge that is shared of the reality of the side effects etc, the more it feels a normal part of the course and nothing to worry about.
    Congratulations on your baby. Good luck to all on this strange but privileged journey. We are so lucky to have the opportunity for this treatment.

    • old eggs says:

      Good luck with it all Moonlightguide. You are so right, at least we have this option. So glad to have other peoples experiences for support. Hope all is well xx

  23. old eggs says:

    Thanks for this…I am going through IVF and managed to inject myself with the wrong meds on the first day! The nurse said it was ok tho…hadn’t realised how complicated it all was, and you are pretty much left to do the injections yourself. Feeling dehydrated and have a dull ache behind my left eye, and IVF brain is definitely full throttle! Bring it on baby.

  24. Sue davies says:

    I’ve just came across this and it made me chuckle, we started our ivf journey back in 2014 and sad to say our first round failed we where devastated to say the least.
    it’s so hard to put into words what you go through during ivf but you have hit the nail and the head, thank you so much for sharing this.
    ding ding bring on round two, we are half way through we have two scans next week and if all goes to plan one step closer to egg collection
    once again thank you for making me laugh xx

  25. corrina says:

    Hilarious! Thank you for providing some much needed humour in this journey – I’m due egg collection on Monday and currently rocking the ‘bunches of grapes on both ovaries’ look – hunched over and bloated. Thank you x

  26. Thanks so much for this post.
    Hilarious indeed! Made me smile all through.
    I’m about to have my 5th try and I’m positive this is final. I’m still on multivitamins. Protein diet. Cut off carbs entirely because of pcos. My procedure will start end of May. Congratulations. I’m sure the baby has arrived.
    Would appreciate advise on fruits to take during this period. Congratulations in advance to all and best wishes.

  27. Laura says:

    Thanks for this blog i really enjoyed the read xxx

  28. Andrea says:

    Great… Thanks for this post. I’ve been crying for 15 min. straight. 😦

  29. namonje says:

    Thanks for sharing such info,I’m planning to get on this journey next year,we are still trying to save enough funds for the ivf treatment.this process is tiring.

  30. Fi says:

    I’m on day 6 of the stimulation meds and I’m one of those with PCOS – I have 30 on one ovary and 20 on the other. I was looking to find out whether the overheating and sheer exhaustion was just me and came across your post. It made me laugh and I really needed that right now. Thank you! (Also, I am a Brit living in the US and have a non-birth mother US wife, so appreciated your other insights as well! SO nice to read a post that wasn’t “get your husband to give you the shots”).

  31. Shay says:

    This absolutely gave me the laugh I needed. After being told I have low ovarian reserve and starting my first IVF cycle 3 weeks ago I was disappointed to go for an ultrasound to find out I only had 4 eggs. This journey is tough… but I”m very hopeful. Thanks for the laughs!

  32. Carolina says:

    After 2 years of ttc, drs told us yesterday our best option is ivf due to low morphology numbers. Was a kick in the vagina to be honest with you. Especially after 3 iuis, 2 rounds of chlomid. would have been nice for them to realize that on hubby’s first sa.

  33. Fuschia says:

    Thankyou!!!!! In my second IVF treatment now, this was a much needed chuckle!!!

  34. jodunne says:

    Thank you thank you thank you for the insight and the giggle. My husband is asleep, but I can’t wait to tell him about dildo-cam! We are having IVF in September – nerves are kicking in!

  35. Kirsten says:

    Thank you! !!! I am starting my first cycle next month and I just wanted someone to be straight up with me about all this. I figured there is no way with all this stuff being pumped into us that it’s no big deal with no side effects. and good Lord don’t get me started on the forum lingo! I just tried to guess everything on context out of stubbornness and finally had to give in and look it up. Thank you again! It feels good to not be alone.

  36. Amethyst Gramley says:

    Thanks for posting this! So true! We are on our first IVF cycle and it’s refreshing to hear that we’re not alone:)

  37. Ada says:

    Thanks for this post! My IVF journey begins next month. Im just so worried about OHSS (hyperstimulation thing) will definitely be reading this again! =)

  38. P says:

    Thank you for writing this. I am day 6 of ovarian stims and it was the bit I was dreading. I have endometriosis, pcos, adenomyosis and for the last six years my left ovary has given me hell. Now with the stim the pain is awful. On my way for tv-scan and bloods. Feeling sorry for myself and can’t wait for stim to be over. Doubley hoping I don’t get hyper stimmed. Gah. X

  39. Tera says:

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this! I LOL’d at number 5! This was VERY helpful, as I’m in the stimulation process and feel exhausted and about ready to cry at the drop of a hat!!! Thanks for explaining this is all normal!

  40. Tera says:

    Oh, yeah…and I guess that was a hot flash I had on my way from the store today. Weird, lol!

  41. babydreamsandlove says:

    Hahaha – This is golden. I’m about to start IVF early november and I have to say this is the best thing I’ve read lol!

  42. Lauren says:

    Husband and I are diving into ivf directly for the very first time on October 12 and I couldn’t say thank you enough for writing this blog as it’s both funny and informative I wish you well in your pregnancy and or raising your future baby and really appreciate just putting it out there being honest. With all the acronyms out there and not speaking the language in the country that you live in it can be really hard and it’s nice to know if say not the only one that doesn’t get it Right away.

  43. Lauren says:

    BTW A friend sent me this how she found it idk and font want to but since you mentioned it above I thought I’d share.
    BFP – Big Fat Positive
    BFN – Big Fat Negative
    AF – Aunt Flo/period
    2WW – 2 Week Wait before testing
    PMA – Positive Mental Attitude
    BD – Baby dance (sex)
    BF – Boyfriend
    BIL – Brother-in-law
    CD – Cycle day
    CM – Cervical mucus
    DD – Dear daughter
    DF – Dear fianc/span>
    DH – Dear husband
    DPO – Days past ovulation
    DS – Dear son
    EDD – Estimated due date
    ETA – Edited to add
    FIL – Father-in-law
    HPT – Home pregnancy test
    HTH- Hope this helps
    ICSI – Intracytoplasmic sperm injection
    IMO – In my opinion
    IRL – In real life
    IUI – Intrauterine insemination
    IVF – In vitro fertilization
    IYKWIM – If you know what I mean
    LMAO – Laughing my arse off
    LOL – Laughing out loud
    MC – Miscarriage
    MIL – Mother-in-law
    (((Name of person))) – Hugging that person
    OMG – Oh my god/gosh/goodness
    OPK – Ovulation prediction kit
    OT – Off topic
    PG – Pregnant
    PUPO – Pregnant until proved otherwise (following ET)
    ROFL – Rolling on the floor laughing
    SIL – Sister-in-law
    TMI – Too much information
    TTC – Trying to conceive
    VBAC – Vaginal birth after caesarean
    Also you see 2dp5dt – This is 2 days post 5 day transfer.

  44. Kallie says:

    Thank you!!!!! My husband and I are brand new to this game. I have 1 more day of birth control and 6 more days from today we officially begin what our doctor calls “mini IVF” but as I was trying to find as much information, as small, large or scary as I can I stumbled upon your post, and laughed out loud while eating lunch at my desk, not a good look. But this was GREAT!!!!

  45. Natalie Reynolds says:

    Think this is great, we start blood tests next month with our consultation to

  46. Jihan says:

    Thank you for this!! 😊

  47. Denise Kruger says:

    Thank you for the post. I really enjoyed it. Me and Hubby are seeing the Specialist on the 13 November 2015. I had my tubes cut 10 years ago after the birth of my son. Got remarried. My husband doesn’t have kids so we decided to have IVF. I’ve been doing research for more that 2 weeks now. There is a lot of information and things to do. Lots of questions. I’m scared but also excited about the whole journey that lies ahead.

  48. Delilah says:

    Good laugh and oh so true. Im currently at 2nd ivf cycle (1st success by miscarried in 1st tri) and tomorrow have my appt to check on follicles with possible ET early next week. Ugh the stress lol

    • Bigmama says:

      Wow enjoyed the post and comments by all. On day 6 of 2ww , crazy wait but encouraged after reading this. Baby dust to all

  49. Sarah says:

    Love this article! Thanks for a candid attitude and covering pretty much everything that I was unsure about in my new world of IVF that I’m now living in!
    I hope that it has been a success for you too!

  50. Jasmine says:

    This was… Terrifying. Lol I’m due to carry a surrogate pregnancy and I’ve never experienced IVF so I’ve been reading everything I can. I don’t know how similar my experience will be because I won’t be providing the egg, but I appreciate your candidness! 🙂

  51. lou says:

    So glad I found this article. I’m almost at the end of stims and beginning to struggle physically and mentally, this has really cheered me up and given me back some perspective, thank you ☺

  52. Sarah says:

    Lol brilliant, ive just started FET cycle after a failed fresh one!!!!
    Made me laugh, spot on with the details hahahaha!!!

  53. Sydney says:

    Congratulations to you on this whole journey. My girlfriend and I are starting IVF hopefully within the next year and being the person I am I have to read every blog and post way before starting the journey. I love how honest you were and that it gave me a laugh lol I’m excited and extremely terrified all at the same time

  54. angelpie12 says:

    Great blog ladies 😉 Xx

  55. Nat says:

    Thank you so much for this post. Honest but with the humour intended. I’m already calling myself a junky as did one if the nurses. This post made me smile (while my ovaries are keeping me awake) so thank you so much.

  56. Irfana junaid says:

    Hahaha I’m on day 2 of my IVF cycle and was really anxious but your post made me laugh and feel really good about this procedure.Hope everything goes well with us too and thanks for posting this !! ❤️

  57. Rebecca says:

    I loved this! I could relate to it all. Currently in the middle of my fourth FET cycle – Good luck to everyone out there in the same boat – you are doing great!

  58. ellie says:

    This was perfect! I’m on day 3 of stimming in my first ICSI cycle and trying to find info about feeling ovary twinges already (I have PCO so not surprising, really). I stumbled across this post and loved it! Dildo cam!!!!! On my forum, we call it Juan the Wand, the unfaithful lover! Thank you for making me laugh/cry!

  59. Huanita says:

    This is the best and most fun information i’ve ever red on internet about ivf. Thanks for cheering up those who are still in the “drug addict” phase counting needles in the trash bin! 🙂

  60. Lola says:

    Had a good laugh reading this because it’s all true, had my embryo transfer 3 days ago. Hoping for this to be my first and only IVF cycle…Godwilling.

  61. MC says:

    I’m about 10 days after egg transfer and you’re the only one who managed to make me properly laugh since ! So magic how you lightened it up, and finally understood what BFP means lol

  62. wannabemum says:

    Thank you so much for this blog post. I am on day 9 on my stims – bloated, nauseated with a tight stomach. I have ER in two days and I cannot wait for it! Your blog post gave a chuckle and I couldn’t agree more. I can totally relate to everything on there.
    This is probably my hormones acting up, but big hugs to everyone going through this. Its a rough journey but is all worth it in the end.

  63. BB says:

    I appreciate the candor in your post! I’ve just started my cycle. I feel hungover from the stimulation cycle! And a bit emotional too (from hormones). I found myself sobbing because I could not find an outfit to wear . Also, am feeling brain fog – all things I did not expect 😦 Trying to keep positive. Thanks for your post 🙂

  64. Bailey says:

    My husband and I just found out that we are jumping straight into IVF. This was incredibly helpful!

  65. Thank you was really feeling a bit down it is hard sometimes for people around me to understand what I’m through with the IFV feeling very sensitive and cry at smallest things so silly but glad to know I’m not alone in this expecting the retrivial in two days 🤗

  66. Pingback: 15 Useful Tips to help You with Successful IVF - Scantily Dad

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